You Don’t Have to Be “Fixed” to Be Whole: Embracing Your Healing Journey as It Is

 There’s this sneaky lie many of us have fallen for—the idea that we need to be “fixed” before we can truly live our best lives. It’s like we’ve been conditioned to believe that until we’ve crossed every item off our self-improvement checklist, we’re not worthy of feeling happy, successful, or even at peace. We think we need to arrive somewhere before we can exhale and finally feel whole.

But let me ask you something: What if you’re already whole, right now?

Here’s the truth I’ve come to realize after years of trying to “fix” myself, whether it was through emotional healing, perfecting my role as a mom, or building a business while balancing life’s chaos: You don’t have to be “fixed” to be whole.

The real magic happens when you stop chasing perfection and start embracing where you are, right now, in the middle of the mess. Healing isn’t a destination—it’s a journey, one that’s constantly unfolding. The struggles, the setbacks, the unfinished parts of you? They’re not signs that you’re broken. They’re part of the process, and they’re shaping you into exactly who you’re meant to be.

The Myth of Being “Fixed”

Let’s get real—our culture loves a good transformation story. We see it everywhere: someone goes from rock bottom to top of their game, from broken to perfectly put together. We eat those stories up, don’t we? And while they’re inspiring, they also plant this idea in our heads that we’re not enough until we’ve completed some grand transformation of our own.

We look at people who seem to have it all figured out, and we think, When will I get there? Why don’t I feel whole yet?

Here’s the thing no one tells you: there is no finish line in healing. There’s no magical moment where everything clicks into place and you’re suddenly this perfect, healed version of yourself. The truth is, healing is ongoing. It’s messy, non-linear, and full of moments where you feel like you’re taking three steps back for every step forward.

But we’ve convinced ourselves that we’ll only be happy, successful, or worthy once we’re fully healed. It’s as if we think our worthiness is hiding at the end of the journey, just waiting for us to fix ourselves enough to finally claim it.

But let me say this as clearly as I can: You don’t need to be fixed. You are already worthy. Right now. Just as you are.

You Are Not Your Struggles (But They Are Part of Your Story)

For a long time, I attached my self-worth to how “fixed” I was. If I wasn’t checking all the boxes—being the perfect mom, running a successful business, balancing my own emotional baggage with grace—I felt like I was failing. I thought my struggles made me less.

But here’s the breakthrough: You are not your struggles. But that doesn’t mean your struggles don’t matter—they’re part of your story, part of the journey that’s making you who you are.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: The hard stuff? The pain, the setbacks, the feelings of inadequacy? They don’t define me, but they’ve shaped me. They’ve helped me grow, taught me resilience, and revealed strengths I didn’t know I had. And instead of trying to “fix” these struggles or erase them from my story, I’ve learned to embrace them.

What if, instead of running from your struggles, you let them be part of your journey? What if you gave yourself permission to be both a work-in-progress and completely whole at the same time?

Perfection Isn’t the Goal—Presence Is

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned along the way is this: Healing isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence.

Let’s face it, we live in a world that pushes us to be perfect. Social media, self-help books, even well-meaning advice from others can make us feel like we should have it all together. But here’s the secret: the people who seem to have it all figured out? They’re on their own messy journey too.

The goal of healing isn’t to be some perfect version of yourself who never feels doubt, pain, or struggle. The goal is to be present with yourself, exactly where you are. To sit with your emotions, your fears, and your challenges without trying to fix or change them right away. To allow yourself to feel messy and imperfect and know that you’re still enough.

When you focus on being present with yourself—rather than chasing perfection—you open the door to real growth. You start to trust the process, knowing that the healing will unfold in its own time, without you having to force it.

How to Embrace Your Healing Journey (Right Where You Are)

So, how do we get comfortable with the idea that we don’t need to be fixed to be worthy? How do we embrace our healing journey right where we are without constantly feeling like we’re behind or not doing enough? Here are a few shifts that helped me, and I hope they’ll resonate with you too:

1. Get Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

Let’s be real: healing isn’t always fun. It’s messy. It’s raw. It’s uncomfortable. But here’s the thing—those uncomfortable moments? That’s where the growth happens.

We tend to avoid discomfort like the plague. We stuff down our feelings, distract ourselves with busyness, and convince ourselves that everything’s fine. But real healing starts when you allow yourself to sit with the discomfort. When you stop running from the hard stuff and start facing it head-on.

The more you allow yourself to feel what you’ve been avoiding, the more you’ll realize that you don’t need to “fix” yourself to feel better. You just need to give yourself permission to be with whatever is coming up.

2. Celebrate the Small Wins (They Matter)

Here’s something we don’t do enough: celebrate the small wins. We’re always looking for the big, transformative moments—the breakthrough, the aha moment, the grand epiphany. But healing doesn’t happen in giant leaps. It happens in small, everyday choices.

Did you take a deep breath before reacting in frustration? That’s a win. Did you recognize a pattern of self-sabotage and decide to choose differently? Another win. Did you show up for yourself today, even when it felt hard? That’s worth celebrating.

The small wins add up, and they’re the foundation of your growth. Don’t wait for some monumental moment to feel proud of yourself. You’re making progress every day, whether you realize it or not.

3. Reframe Your “Failures”

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You’re going to mess up. You’re going to have days where you feel like you’ve fallen off the healing wagon. You’re going to have moments where you think, Why am I still struggling with this? And that’s okay.

Instead of seeing these moments as failures, try to reframe them as part of the journey. Healing isn’t linear, and there will be setbacks. But every setback is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself. It’s a chance to dig deeper and understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

You’re not failing. You’re growing. Even in the moments that feel like you’re falling apart.

4. Stop Waiting for Permission

This might be the most important lesson of all: You don’t need permission to feel whole, right now.

You don’t need to wait until you’ve healed every part of yourself to live your life, to pursue your dreams, or to feel worthy of love and success. You don’t need to wait for the “right” moment to start showing up as the fullest version of yourself.

Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting until you feel “ready” or “fixed” or “perfect” enough to take up space. The right moment is now. Show up as you are, with all your imperfections, and trust that you’re exactly where you need to be.

You Are Whole—Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

Here’s what I want you to take away from this: You are whole, even when you don’t feel like it.

Healing isn’t about becoming someone different. It’s about reconnecting with the truth of who you already are. It’s about realizing that you don’t need to be “fixed” to be worthy of love, success, or happiness. You are enough, right now, in the middle of your journey.

So, stop waiting for the day when you feel perfectly healed or fully ready. Stop believing that you have to earn your worth by crossing some invisible finish line. You don’t need to be anyone but yourself, just as you are.

Embrace the messiness. Trust the process. Let go of the need to be “fixed,” and step fully into your life as it is, knowing that you’re already whole.

The Journey Continues—And So Do You

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’re starting to see that there’s beauty in the journey. There’s growth in the mess, and there’s strength in showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard. The healing journey isn’t about reaching a destination—it’s about embracing every part of the process, the highs and the lows, the wins and the setbacks.

Here’s the thing: you’re not broken. You’re not waiting to be fixed. You’re evolving, learning, growing, and becoming more aligned with who you truly are. Healing doesn’t mean erasing the parts of you that hurt; it means honoring them, learning from them, and realizing that even in your most vulnerable moments, you are whole.

The journey will keep unfolding. There will be more challenges, more lessons, and more moments of doubt. But with each step, you’re moving forward—whether it feels like it or not. And the beautiful part is that you continue. You continue showing up, continue doing the work, continue healing, and continue becoming.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to keep going, trusting that every part of your journey is shaping you into the person you’re meant to be.

So here’s to you—right now, exactly as you are. Not fixed, but whole. Not perfect, but present. Not finished, but continuing. You’ve got this, and you’re already enough.