Chaos Chronicles: Building a Business While Homeschooling Four Kids, Navigating Trauma, and Trying Not to Lose My Mind

There was a time not too long ago when my life felt like a chaotic, never-ending juggling act. Picture this: I’m homeschooling four kids, building a business from scratch, and dealing with the kind of life events that make you wonder how much more the universe thinks you can handle. My husband’s job had the most unpredictable schedule, with hours and call-outs that meant I was flying solo most of the time. But if that wasn’t enough to make me question my sanity, life decided to throw in a series of curveballs—just to keep things interesting.

We were hit with family trauma, the deaths of loved ones, and some of the scariest moments a parent could face—critical injuries and complex health issues with the kids. I spent many nights sitting in hospital rooms, trying to soothe my children’s pain, while wondering how I could hold it all together. On top of that, I was dealing with my own emotional exhaustion, grief, and that gnawing feeling of never being enough—not for my family, not for my business, and certainly not for myself.

I’ll be honest, there were days when I felt like I was just surviving. Forget thriving—survival was the goal. My to-do list was endless, and while my days were filled with caring for my kids and managing crises, my evenings were spent trying to squeeze in time for my business. Emails, content creation, client calls—all while thinking, How am I possibly going to make this work?

Spoiler alert: I didn’t always know how. But I kept going, one messy day at a time.

Feeling Like I Was Never Enough

Here’s the thing no one really talks about when you’re balancing all of this—parenting, homeschooling, building a business, and navigating trauma—it’s exhausting on every level. And with that exhaustion comes a heavy dose of feeling like you’re never enough. The inner dialogue goes something like this: Who am I to think I can do this? I’m not qualified enough, smart enough, or capable enough to be successful.

It wasn’t just the exhaustion. It was this constant sense that no matter how hard I tried, it wasn’t good enough. I’d get a little bit of success in my business—a new client or a breakthrough—and instead of celebrating, I’d squash it right away with thoughts like, Well, that was just luck. They’ll figure out I don’t actually know what I’m doing.

I was trapped in a cycle of never feeling qualified, no matter how much I accomplished. I was homeschooling four kids—who were dealing with their own complex health issues, mind you—and managing a household, yet every time I made progress, self-doubt would creep in. That nagging voice in my head kept whispering: You’re not capable of doing this. You’re going to fail.

And I believed it. Every. Single. Time.

The Chaos and the Trauma: When Life Doesn't Hit Pause

What no one tells you is that life doesn’t pause for you to catch your breath. Amidst all the day-to-day chaos of trying to keep the kids on track with homeschooling and the business from falling apart, life continued to throw us some seriously heavy stuff.

We dealt with the loss of close family members, leaving gaping emotional holes that I didn’t have time to process. I had to keep moving, keep showing up for my kids, and keep my business afloat. On top of that, critical injuries and health issues with the kids kept piling up. The number of hospital visits, medical specialists, and sleepless nights? I lost count.

There’s nothing that shakes you to your core more than seeing your child suffer. I’d look at my kids and wonder how I was supposed to fix it—how I was supposed to make everything okay when I could barely keep it together myself. And through it all, I was supposed to be building a business?

To be honest, I often felt like I was failing at everything. When you’re in survival mode—juggling homeschooling, trauma, hospital visits, and trying to grow a business—good enough feels like a distant dream.

Self-Sabotage: My Unwanted Companion

You’d think that after going through so much, I’d be cheering myself on for just getting out of bed in the morning. But no. Instead, I became a master at self-sabotage. Every time I’d start to get a little success, I’d find a way to convince myself that I didn’t deserve it.

Here’s how it went: I’d sign a new client and then immediately think, They’re going to figure out I’m a fraud. Or I’d get through a solid week of homeschooling with minimal meltdowns and start thinking, Next week will probably be a disaster. It’s like my brain had a built-in mechanism that would hit the “self-destruct” button anytime something good happened.

I’d convince myself that if I allowed myself to believe in my own success, it would somehow vanish. So, instead of embracing the small wins, I’d crush them before anyone else could.

Looking back now, it’s almost laughable how creative I was in finding ways to sabotage my own progress. I’d set myself up to succeed, then immediately start doubting everything I did. It was like I was on autopilot—constantly pulling myself back from the edge of victory because part of me was too scared of what might happen if I actually succeeded.

The Turning Point: Learning to Trust Myself

Eventually, I hit a turning point. I realized that I couldn’t keep living this way—waiting for the day I’d finally feel “ready” or “qualified” enough. If I kept waiting for the perfect moment when everything would fall into place and I’d suddenly feel like an expert, I’d be waiting forever.

I had to accept that the chaos wasn’t going away anytime soon. There would always be hospital visits, homeschooling struggles, and business challenges. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t capable of success. It just meant I had to stop waiting for everything to be perfect before I believed in myself.

I started giving myself permission to celebrate the small wins. I started acknowledging that, yes, I was doing hard things, and I was doing them well. I stopped letting imposter syndrome call the shots, and I began to trust that I was exactly where I needed to be, even if it didn’t always feel that way.

The biggest lesson I learned? You don’t need to have everything figured out to be successful. You just need to keep showing up, even when it feels messy, chaotic, and downright impossible.

Finding Strength in the Chaos

There’s a funny thing that happens when you stop trying to control everything and start embracing the chaos. You begin to find strength in places you didn’t know existed. Instead of running from the hard stuff—whether it’s trauma, health crises, or business challenges—you face it head-on, knowing that you’ve survived worse.

The truth is, success doesn’t come from having everything together. It comes from showing up, over and over again, in the face of adversity. It comes from learning to trust yourself, even when that inner voice tries to convince you otherwise. It comes from acknowledging that feeling like you’re not enough doesn’t mean you aren’t.

I didn’t build my business by waiting for the perfect moment. I built it in the midst of homeschooling meltdowns, hospital stays, and moments of self-doubt. I built it while grieving and healing and navigating the complexities of life. And while I wouldn’t recommend this level of chaos to anyone (seriously, 10/10 do not recommend), I can tell you this: you are far more capable than you realize.

The Takeaway: You Are Enough, Right Now

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through this wild, chaotic journey, it’s that you don’t have to have it all figured out to be enough. You don’t need to be “perfectly qualified” or have the cleanest house, the most organized schedule, or the most put-together life to achieve your goals.

You are enough right now, just as you are. Even if your life feels like it’s one giant mess, even if you’re juggling more than you ever thought possible, you are capable of success. The key is to stop waiting for everything to feel perfect before you start believing in yourself.

So, if you’re like me—trying to do all the things, manage all the chaos, and wondering if you’re ever going to feel like you’ve got it together—just know this: you’re doing more than enough. And you are more than enough.

Next time you find yourself celebrating a small win, don’t squash it. Embrace it. Own it. You deserve it.

And if you ever need a reminder of how much you can handle, just picture me trying to run a business, homeschool four kids, navigate trauma, and make grilled cheese sandwiches at the same time. If I can do it, trust me—you’ve got this.