How I Canceled Christmas: A Journey from Extravagance to Intentionality
Dec 02, 2024For years, I was the queen of Christmas. My house looked like Santa’s workshop had exploded in the best possible way. Eight Christmas trees, each with its own theme, lined my home. Eight oversized totes of decorations were pulled down every year to transform our space into a holiday wonderland. Presents? Perfectly wrapped with coordinated ribbons and tags, stacked so high they could barely fit under the tree. I lived for the holiday magic, the sparkle, the joy on my kids’ faces. It was everything—until it wasn’t.
Last year, I canceled Christmas. Not the family time, not the joy, not the lights—but the game. The excess. The pressure. The stress. And let me tell you: it was one of the most liberating decisions I’ve ever made.
The Slow Unraveling
This wasn’t an overnight decision. It started a few years ago, when I found myself questioning the why behind it all. Why do we buy our kids mountains of gifts? Why do we go into debt for one day? Why do we spend weeks decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking, and running ourselves ragged—only to feel relief when it’s finally over?
At first, the changes were subtle. We started skipping gifts from us as parents, instead letting Santa bring a few. In place of piles of presents, we leaned into experiences. Instead of buying toys that would quickly be forgotten, we took Christmas trips as a family—indoor waterparks, exploring national parks, or simply spending time away together.
The kids loved it. They didn’t miss the toys. In fact, they cherished the new traditions and looked forward to the adventures. But even the Santa game started to feel off to me.
Everywhere I looked, I saw families stressing over the holidays, going into debt, overextending themselves, and spending what they didn’t have to meet societal expectations. It made me stop and think: what are we doing this for? Is this really bringing anyone joy, or are we just following a script we’ve been handed?
The shift was gradual, but last year, we made the final leap. No Santa. No presents. No totes of decorations. We still celebrated, but in a way that felt authentic and aligned with our values.
The History of Christmas: A Holiday Transformed
The history of Christmas is a little misunderstood, pulling from both religious and pagan traditions. Santa Claus, as we know him today, was popularized as the jolly, white-bearded man in a red suit largely thanks to Coca-Cola’s iconic advertising campaigns in the 1930s.
Originally a religious holiday, Christmas was about celebrating the birth of Jesus—a time for reflection, gratitude, and connection. Over time, pagan elements like winter solstice celebrations, gift-giving, and feasting were woven into the fabric of the holiday. These traditions, steeped in both reverence and revelry, laid the foundation for what we now recognize as Christmas.
But in the last century, Christmas has evolved into something far removed from its origins. Today, it is a cornerstone of consumerism. According to the National Retail Federation, Americans spend over $1 trillion on holiday shopping annually. That’s more than the GDP of some small countries.
Advertising and retail industries have masterfully marketed Christmas as a time to spend. We’re bombarded with messages that we need the latest gadgets, elaborate decorations, and perfectly curated holiday experiences to create joy and connection. It’s a narrative designed to make us buy—not think.
When you step back, it becomes clear: much of what we do during the holidays isn’t about genuine joy. It’s about meeting expectations.
My Breaking Point
As a mom of four, I’ve seen firsthand how fleeting the magic of Christmas morning can be. The toys that they once begged for are often discarded or forgotten within days. The energy I poured into creating a picture-perfect Christmas left me drained, and the joy I anticipated was often replaced by relief when it was all over.
It wasn’t just the money or the effort—it was the pressure. Pressure to make the holidays magical. Pressure to ensure my kids didn’t feel left out compared to their friends. Pressure to create an Instagram-worthy holiday season that lived up to everyone else’s standards.
I realized I was playing a game I didn’t even believe in anymore. I wanted something different—not just for me, but for my family.
So, we canceled Christmas. And in doing so, we discovered a new kind of magic.
What We Do Instead
Canceling Christmas doesn’t mean canceling joy. In fact, our holidays are now more joyful than ever.
- Time Together: We still gather with family, share meals, and create memories. For us, the focus is on connection, not consumption.
- Christmas Lights: I still love the sparkle of holiday lights. We walk through neighborhoods or visit light displays, letting the beauty of the season sink in.
- Slowing Down: Instead of packing our calendar with events and to-dos, we prioritize rest and presence. The holidays are meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
- Gratitude and Reflection: We use the season to reflect on the year, set intentions for the next, and practice gratitude as a family.
These simple traditions feel more meaningful than any pile of presents ever did.
A Note to My Fellow Parents
If you’re reading this and feeling defensive, let me say this: I’m not here to judge. If you love the traditions, the decorating, the gift-giving—do it! This isn’t about labeling Christmas as good or bad; it’s about questioning what works for you.
For me, the shift came when I realized that my version of Christmas was rooted in societal conditioning and expectations. I wanted something different, something simpler, something less stressful.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the holidays, here’s your permission slip to opt out of the parts that don’t bring you joy. You don’t have to go as far as canceling Christmas entirely, but you can say no to the things that don’t align with your values.
Questions to Ask Yourself
If the holiday season feels more like a chore than a celebration, it might be time to reevaluate. Here are some questions to guide you:
- What do I love most about the holidays?
- What causes me the most stress?
- Do I feel pressure to meet certain expectations? If so, where does that pressure come from?
- What traditions truly bring joy to my family?
- What would happen if I let go of the parts of Christmas that don’t feel good?
Letting Go of the Guilt
One of the hardest parts of canceling Christmas was dealing with guilt. Guilt that my kids would feel left out. Guilt that I was taking something away from them. Guilt that I wasn’t “doing enough.”
But here’s what I learned: My kids are happier now. They don’t miss the piles of presents. They love the experiences and connection we’ve prioritized. And they’ve learned an invaluable lesson—that happiness doesn’t come from stuff. It comes from moments, memories, and love.
Letting go of the guilt wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
An Invitation to Question
I’m not asking you to cancel Christmas. But I am inviting you to question it. Question the traditions, the expectations, the stress. Ask yourself if the way you celebrate aligns with your values.
And if it doesn’t? Give yourself permission to step off the hamster wheel. Create your own version of the holidays—one that feels joyful, meaningful, and true to who you are.
The beauty of Christmas isn’t in the decorations, the gifts, or the Instagram-worthy moments. It’s in the love, the light, and the laughter. And that doesn’t cost a thing.
So here’s to a holiday season that feels good—whatever that looks like for you.
FREE Mini-Course
Become an Aligned & In-Demand Coach
A 3-Day Mini Course—designed to help you break through barriers that hold you back and step into your role as an aligned, confident, and impactful coach.
.